Our creativity is our life force… If we don’t tap into it we kinda feel a little bit dead! This is certainly how I have felt. Motherhood has given me moments of extreme creativity but I struggle with the timing of those moments.. Sometimes I want to write for three days and not be interrupted. Its flowing out of me, burring out of me, but the daily attachment to a small child has meant I have had to stop and starts. Something at 35 years of age I’m still trying to master!!
I have had to link creativity and motherhood and that has come in the form of photography. I have an extremely active and strong willed child, so my creativity was fast, furious and energetic. Where as my creative dynamic before motherhood was more dreamy, whimsical and escapist. Having the camera with me has made the exhausting days so worth it and Ive always tried to make the energetic a little escapist.
I have gone through some intense therapy in my 20s and following birth trauma. Most therapy involved talking for around an hour, a lot of crying and a sudden stop when time comes to an end. I found this model pretty restrictive and disappointing. Talking did make me more conscious of patterns and needs, but my therapist suggested something a little more unconscious. Have you ever heard of rebirthing?? I hadn’t but being on a spiritual path I was really happy to try new ways of understanding and seekiing. It was an emotional, spiritual and all over body experience that I feel I could get a little addicted to. My whole body was shaking with energy and the visions I saw took me on an amazing trip. (I want to write a complete post on rebirthing and what I saw/felt so check back soon for this)
Last year I took a day away to join an art class called London art classes with Nick Malone. The idea of the class was to just get painting!! We found an image we liked and we started. I so enjoyed taking this time alongside other artists in a studio.. I left feeling like I would dedicate more time to painting, every saturday suggested by the art teacher. It just isn’t possible for me to make this commitment, but I will make a commitment to myself from now on ‘DO NOT STOP PAINTING’
At the beginning of February a dear friend Kellie launched her Creative women’s circle in Hertfordshire. I have been on wild women retreats and joined women’s circles before. BUT this circle was different as creativity was at the core. The structure was so nourishing, with lots of relaxation and connection to nature. It was so freeing to paint from an emotional space rather than a copying or trying to get it right place. I really loved painting free. Our expression has something to say and I loved sitting with my painting afterwards. I journaled, analysed and asked my pairing questions. I felt the energy and expression. I’m spurred on to paint my soul, no more talking and analysing. Get out of your head and paint it out!!
I hope you can do the same.. And I hope I can help you take this step soon. x