This is how I would like my pelvis to look and feel. I’m so upset to say its a very different picture and not one I feel I have much control over right now. The pain in my pelvic area was getting out of control in 2016. I had not been feeling well on the right side for around a year and a dull pain was getting increasingly shocking, shooting down my leg with aggression and might. I always carried on despite pain often not listening to the truth behind its origin. I had to carry on, I had a really active 2 year old who didn’t listen to the word stop! I was at a festival and could barely walk.. I knew something was seriously firing warning signals at me. I couldn’t ignore it anymore, I couldn’t walk or lift my leg to get in the car at certain times of the month.
I visited the gynaecologist who asked to examine me.. My reaction was shocking for us both. I replied with a strong ‘no’ and started to cry. It was obvious I wanted no one near or touching my reproductive organs and certainly no one from the medical world. The feeling that came to me was so much fear and complete loss of control!! I mentioned I had a scan and the only option was to know through having surgery. The pain got worse and worse, I was putting of surgery. Again the thought of being knocked out and my insides being pumped up with air, cut, burnt and prodded totally freaked me out. On the day of my surgery I couldn’t walk into the hospital, I had convinced myself it was heavy going sciatica and the operation would prove inconclusive. Months of seeing and osteo has not helped my very congested pelvic area.
Louise Hay sees emotions behind endometriosis as ‘Insecurity, disappointment and frustration. Replacing self-love with sugar. Blamers.’ I can certainly see how this has manifested in pelvis. I had a feeling of all three emotions heavily weighing me down.
Since the operation in 2016 I have refused the pill and the coil. The thought of having something stuck in my pelvic area blocking and obstructing just felt intuitively wrong. The hormones have been wildly out of control but I’m pleased to say through diet, self care, essential oils, exercise, herbs and supplements I’m finally getting to grips with the condition. I still feel I have a lot more to do.. More focus on herbs and possibly biodynamic hormones, But all with time and money.
If you are suffering with endometriosis and experiencing pain, please stop to care for yourself. For so long I just ignored it and battled on. My body is happier now I’m listening.
Image via hellobwom