How did you feel when you first set eyes on your baby? In love, scared, shocked, confused? I try to think back at that exact moment four years and the imagery is blurred as is the days and hours which followed. I could not see out of my own eyes for sheer exhaustion. I can still see a pained little soul who had been through the most traumatic ordeal, she certainly didn't look serene like all the other new born babies I had seen swaddled in fresh white blankets, sleeping on their ...